Chet Hauser has reported his car missing. He was fishing down off The Main Road, quarter mile up from the turnoff. He didn’t hear the engine start. He just went back to find most of his stuff laying at the side of the road and his car gone. If anyone knows the whereabouts of his red ’89 Oldsmobile sedan, please call Southside Auto or the police.

[Update: Police Chief Wells called in to update us that the reason the vehicle was missing is because the police called Southside Auto to tow it. Chet has been updated, commenting “Oh crap, that parking ticket!” before rushing off without bothering to hang up the phone.  Chet, if you are reading this, I think that new puppy of yours is tearing up your furniture, from the sound of it…]