Folks were awoken early this morning by strange sounds out near Settler’s Hill trail – the old trail local kids call “suicide hill.” Residents described the sound as a “…rapid spitting sound. Like a cartoon spittle sound, but, from a machine gun.” Officer Sophia Martinez responded to the call, expecting to find the results of […]
Several concerned parties, the City Council being the most concerned, have spent the day discussing this Friday’s council meeting. For the first time in a very long time, they are in unanimous agreement on one thing: they have no idea what to expect. They feel, as Financial Chair Wilkins put it, “lost in the woods.” […]
In the past, visitors have called our town “Too Friendly.” Maybe it’s true. We tend to acknowledge folks that come in earshot of us. We make eye contact, greet folks by name, and even talk to strangers like we’ve known them for years. Considering the number of lost hikers and folks with car troubles that […]
It seems the tobacco tin full of questionable tobacco that sent the Council of Old Guys into the ozone belongs to Art Song. When Chief Wells went to question him about it Monday morning, things seemed out of place. Art’s front door was open and the house appeared to have been ransacked. The bedroom showed […]
Anyone who ate at Edna’s this morning might find her behavior peculiar. She was explaining power consumption to one of those utility workers when she peeked toward the sculpture garden and gasped. She set a full pot of coffee in front of the workers, said “On the house,” then vanished back into the kitchen. A […]
After a week of Waffles, all day, every day, the mania has passed from Edna. She has tripled the price, hoping to discourage anyone from ordering them ever again. This led to some grumbling out in the sculpture garden, where some folks were just getting used to the thin french crepes or hefty belgian style […]
After the recent power issues, Bill Stephenson has been lobbying the council for a “proper [redacted] diesel [redacted x2] generator.” “It’s embarrassing. Leverite spends so much on IT infrastructure then either can’t or won’t do what it takes to make sure the lights stay on.” He wanted it to be known, for the record, that […]
Do you know the surrounding hills and valleys like the back of your hand? Are you on “really good social terms” with our off-grid neighbors? Enjoy wildlife? If so, Mr Singh would like to talk with you. A rare contract position has opened up in his staff. Pay depends of experience, veteran and native preference […]
They’re holding a Poker Night over at the Mason’s place tonight. Buy-in is a sack full of non-perishable food or baby supplies, with each additional bag getting you a free drink on the house. It’s all in the name of a charity drive for Jack’s motorcycle club. Back in the 80’s they realized being bad […]
Well, it’s only been eight hours since Edna started her special on waffles, and I think It’s safe to say that most folks are sick of them already. Waffles are a little like Fair food- you get a hankering for them, but after a couple of servings, you’re good till next year. That’s just editorial […]
Six years. Now, I’m telling you, if you called a plumber and he said it would be six hours before he could fix a clogged toilet, you’d keep calling around for other options. If the EMT said it would be six minutes before he’d bother doin’ CPR on ya, you’d stay alive probably outta sheer […]
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